Monday, August 15, 2005
WOooooo... RIDE IN A RX8..WOOoo yeah!!!!
WOOoooo YEAH!! i got a ride on RX 8 home!!!!! thanks to SHAW RAY.. my COCc buddy... THANK!!!! the feelign great!!!! it is a REALly sweeet car.....
shaw is the nicest guy u ever find..... humble,very good tempered,farnie and of cos rich..
sometimes i really do admire him for his gd natured... whicih i know i am not..
which brings mi to the bad mood i had last nite..
i haven had conflict wiht any one for the longest of time but i got into an argument with koala..
wat seems to be a guesture of good will asking mi to go climb turn out to be sometihng bad..
well there is this theory that states " ppl of hte same classification will mixed together.. " dont knoe by who one..
true or false? aggree or disagree?
i itnk it is very true indeed.. correct mi if i am wrong.. officers and specs are segregarted
high class and low class are segregated.
fast runner and slow runner train seperately..
smoker and non smoker too...
ppl with common skills and ablitiy or status seem to be able to click better.. and hence closer....
not that i dont wnan go climbing wiht koala.. in fact i very much hope to go climbing with her . so i can learn from her...
but climbing with pros climber.. no no.. i feel so lousy and demoralise climbing wiht ppl better than u..
i understand and i realise that i not good..weak..FARK!!!.. sick!! digusted!!!i knoe i accepted and i try to improve on it.. really i tried!! i even went gym and climb despite a strained rigth arms....why am i tryig so hard?
i dont noe why but this arguemnet much affected mi , i couldnt sleep well last nite..was thinking wat i am doing? just give up the sport lar... so wat if u can climb? who is there to regonise ur abilties?...train so hard for wat? study lar...
study and mug whole day.. be a nerd!! at least nerd are popular ... they got tuitorial solutions.
spent lonely hrs and lecture at teh bar for FARK?..wat u trying to prove?
i not going to break into group liao.. cos i knoe that is not feasible.. toopid move...just like hte YCK minds Example... if u wnana ahve company or a grp.. all must start off from the same foot..
suffer together or learn together... that is how strong bond is form...
maybe i expected her to be more understanding.. well.. i guess. i shd go back to my lonely self... nothing lose.. maybe just knoe one more frined..quite appreciate her asking mi for climb.. thanks but no thanks...
no friends = no expectation = no arguement
but not necessarily mean happy..
so fast huh. eveyr starts and end.. seriouly i tink i hate climbing now.. watever. just go back to wat i good at... erm..
basically nothing... jst eat sleep and grow fat..
be truthful dont indule in self deception..
no one believes in mi and i not even sure i can believe my self or not... quite sick...
my hand are like shaking most of the time for tryin so hard.. ulgy blister.. strained arm... time waste pulling my life away...wasting money to go gym and climb.
lost focus!!! ARGH!!!!someone help mi!!
i so tired i going to sleep alreadY...
hope i will sort out my thought soon.
I am so screwed!
with love
12:16 AM
