Wednesday, March 29, 2006
ggrrrrrr...
30 march is design2 project due date.. but only today they say extend DEadline..
been working from the moment i wake up and till the moment i sleep for teh past 5-6 days. reminded moi of reseach project. skipped all the lecutre and tutorial..
Dont tink i work this hard before.. maybe i jsut wanna run a great last lap. even thought my overall grades are just as crap..Design 2 is a showcase of wat we had learn over the 4 years. sheesh, i dunno man.. the fast and furious pace of sch work dont really allow moi to retain all the stuff i learn.. maybe i haven truly learn.
but watever teh case, the design project make moi learn and realise concept i din know back in the earlier years of my uni days. better apprecaition and understnading of the modules i took back then.
i tink everyone is awfully stressed. i see ppl having nicks like,
"like why nus dont let us enjoy the last 4 weeks."
"dont sleep"
"weeping away"
" ji bai siao liao"
seen some ugly ppl.. leechers for this project.. keep asking ppl for help and try to copy others work.. this are the ppl who survive uni and grad with better results...Sheesh.. tell moi how unfair life is...not tat i am selfish or wat.. this are the type of ppl on normal day wont even bother to say hi to u..walk on the street also pretend not to know u.. until when in trouble they go begging ppl..and call everyone her brother..
wonder where is ur pride.. how can u live life so lowly..
though reluctant, i shared when they ask..
i din feel really good after tat..
In a difference senario. xm din understand some concepts and i glady sent him my whole report and spread sheet. hoping to help him.. cos he is my good friend.. uni life wont be quite the same without him i guess..
i feel good..
feeeling very out of life now.. surely life is more than this design project.. looks like the ice age movie i looking forward to after the proejct submition is not going to happen and the climbing session aint going to happen ...
really ....really could use a nice break to chill out and do something enjoyable..
nvm lar, at the end of all this.. i will be a stronger person if i can get throught all this without giving anything less than my 100% effort..
with love
7:37 PM
Monday, March 27, 2006
motivation...!!
KoALa Rawks manzZZ...
design sucks
with love
1:26 AM
Saturday, March 25, 2006
why cookie like to crumble?
wat a day..
computer cluster at sch is crowded with ppl rushing lee sign project..on a sat..
guess wat? caluculator spiolt!! SWay man.. not in the midst of leesign project and nearing exam dates..
guess wat spiolt? ear phone spoilt..
lets count..
1) hp cant ring or hear
2) sandals broke
3) tire flat again
4) calculator
5) earphone
6??
wonder wats next?
back to leesign report!!
finish as much so can See koala in acton tml.....
with love
9:46 PM
Angels brought mi here..
been kinda busy working on desgin project..awfully stressful...
lack of bitching on the blog.
hp spiolt, now it is only an sms machine,uncontactable, got upset over minor set, squabble with marko, sandals broke.
sucky eh?
finally nearing the end of my uni days, regretful episode..
but the fact that i am able to come this far is because of angels...
angels like mummy and daddy..
angels like ah jie..
angels like you ..
u all have belief in moi and that keep moi going....
for certain. angels made moi stronger than i was....
Thank u.....
with love
12:22 AM
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
TEck whye bro!
today test was unexpected. tink buang one...
design lost... groupmate was panicky.. infact i more panicky lor.!!!!just Tat i din show it..
okie okie i shant bitch abt today's happening..
today my teck whye bro msg moi!! asking moi to be his wedding bRO come dec!!!
How can i say no le?
i realise we dont have pic..
there shd be one when i attended his ROm a few months back. but the pic haven develop..
moi and patrick during our airborne cos.. i crop the pic.. so a bit small..
one joker and one serious YSL... muahaha.. act serious only...
Teck whye bro!!!!! always!!!
oh gosh!!! i miss the good old training days!!!!
with love
12:08 AM
Saturday, March 18, 2006
Success is measured by happiness
times seem to pass so quickly day by day. Deadlines are coming closer and closer.
i went to prof loh office to claim reemburisment for the poster yesterday, and he shared abt one hour telling moi stuff..
he was telling us how we shd approach everything in life.. presentation.. for i told him i was not actaully convince abt my FYP project myself.. seems like a phony jsut like everything else in the society.
watever the desicion made.. just stick with it... ride the WAves and enjoy the ride. simpliy weight ur priorites and go with the flow...
maybe it was easier for him to say tat.. cos he is awfully blessed with smart genes.
top student one lor.. MIT somemore..
maybe if i was that smart. i will be happier ...
but i cant be unhappy...
why?
1. i got a happy family
2. i got my dream
3. i got a roof over my head
4. i got nice friends
as much as i wish to regret upon my decision to enter and study chem eng, i really dont tink i need to...cos nobody will be certain wat lies in the alternate path on a diff timeline. i alwasy thought tat my spring time of youth will be better then if i enter the Special forces. thing will be different.
perhaps i will die from training...
perhaps i be happier maybe i be more miserable..
but one thhing is for sure. no one knoes exactly..
hmm.. didnt the military taught moi that ages ago? how come i forget this impt lesson? make do with wat u have.. cos teh bigger pic cant provide u with watever u requested for..
and dont compare.. teh more u compare the more dissatisfied u wil be..
i learn that once upon a time too..
nothing fair and nothing unfair.. u say it is unfair that u din are not born into the world driving a FArlaLA or a porche.. but then it is any fairer to the guy in the street on a hungry stomach?
i wish prof loh had shared that with moi during my early years in uni..perhaps i will see things from a diff light. basically uni lack the prof and student interaction.. teacher and mentor system.. tho the system is in place but do they realyl interaact?
i am happy tat at least my prof share with moi and guide moi along..tell moi stuff that the classroom din offer to teach.. unlike some of my frineds are totally ignored by their" hard to find" prof..
i see the same light i saw years ago, which was oscured by my incompetence and coulded by the ulginess of ppl..
the fire waits to burn even brighter after being dim for some time.
i cant wait to grad to do wat i am cut to do..
put the theory above to test and prove myself
and explore the deepering meaning to success
not measured by ur riches or ur status...
but the happniess from deep within.
anyone got a happy-meter?
with love
9:04 AM
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
grad anxiety.
defination of anxiety
a:
painful or apprehensive
uneasiness of mind usually over an impending or anticipated ill
b :
fearful concern or interest
c : a cause of anxiety
i am so feeling tat now... just not ready to step out of my comfort zone.. where i take charge of my time and my work.. in an alternate dimension that transit according to my free mind where i am the
King of my world..
not ready physcially , not really emotionally
most impt not ready mentality... perhaps all will change in the next one month..
mingz.. u got to live stronger...
seeking comfort at my fav huant and "Walking off" with marko..
wonder
when can i do tat in the near future?
been so long.. 4 freaking year.. 4 years in sec i meet great true friends. thought drifted apart..
2 years in jc i meet my
pull gang though two stop pulling.
4 years in uni.. i only know ppl supercificallly..
how sad eh..
so much
regrets.. poor grade.. so shallow..
wasnt as enriching as it claimed..BUt given a choice to start uni all over again, i tink i probality do everything the same way..
perhaps the only comfort i had is that i learn to
love myself just this
little bit more.
with love
9:57 AM
Saturday, March 11, 2006
bad mood..
bad mood day.. just hate it when i get stuck at a problem
and no one to ask...
everyone is like treating their info like some precious shit..
as if asking them for the info is like taking a peice of flesh from them..
ppl alwasy leech stuff off moi. then i feel so silly.. the worst kind is those keep asking and taking one.. then got stuff and never give back type..
haiz.. ppl are really so ulgy de...
just wanan make us of frineds.( or wat they seem to call u when they need help)
when ur are leech of ur benefits, walk pass also never bother to say hi!!
OMG.. i suddenly feel so ridicuously silly... why huh?
maybethat is wat it is mean by growing up.. be a cruel disgusting creatuer doing watever it takes to succeed..
ZEn BAO bAO:
Two monks were washing their bowls in the river when they noticed a scorpion that was drowning. One monk immediately scooped it up and set it upon the bank. In the process he was stung. He went back to washing his bowl and again the scorpion fell in. The monk saved the scorpion and was again stung. The other monk asked him, "Friend, why do you continue to save the scorpion when you know it's nature is to sting?"
"Because," the monk replied, "to save it is my nature."
i find it is veyr hard to help others when i am in deep shit. espcailly ppl who dont desevse it.. i don have unconditional love like GOD..really..
i suck big time....
pls dont make use of moi.. if u cant return the same way i treated u...
i wanna be a scorpian not a helpful monk.
with love
9:57 PM
Happi B day He-man!!
yeah!! finally after so long..the secondary sch gang have a gathering..
cos it is He man B day!!!
the 10 of us went to rabbit to eat... chinese FOOD!!!
and the TCC to hang out and play nonsense games.!!!
muahaha
and be silly like we always do..
seem like Tcc is the usual place for us to hang out..
Tcc got this weird policy that cannot take pic one.. dunno why...
got a sign to prove it..
ironic eh?
moi and B day boy!!!
moi and BB1.. long time never see him laio le.. hee
air head moi nuaing at TCC .. hee.. forget sch work
we watch mid nite moive too!! so nice!! contented..
oh yah.. rem furby?
look at how furry it has become!! so cute de...
with love
1:53 AM
Thursday, March 09, 2006
POSTER DAy!!
woohoo!!! been a fun filled day today.. i miss pulling at the bar cos i have to wear formally to sch.. oh well.. wil pull more tml..
i wasnt really intereested in explianing my project to the indursty of top notch ppl that came and take a look i was more interested in socialising with my frineds..
took pic wiht laska one of the 4 chem eng idol.. too bad my prof wasnt there.. else i wll take a pic with him..haiz.. next time bah
i realise i dont have any pic during my uni days.. except for year one pagent.. but then again.. none of them sent the pics to moi when i decide to keep a low profile and turn into a loner..
but today i took many pics with my uni frineds
Xm... the guy who alwasy do project with moi....close close friend..
zi juan!!!! i dont really know her,, but i ask for a pic with her.. cos i am her SA.. hee sheesh so unnatural smile.. yucks...
hui qi.. my year one pagent partner... she won then!! lihaiz
dede.. my good friend!! a bit xiong ba ba one.. dont get decive by her look..
weithien.... another girl with giga watt smile one... nice smile d.
yeeli .. winner of best poster!!! proud of u de... u go girl!!
labbies... irem how we sought it out in hte lab thorugh the nite and those weekends.. bitter sweet memories..
hong jia. used to hate him..but now we are good frineds.. hee not time for hatred. grad time.. let bygone be by gone
lee sign 2 group... hope our relation will cont to be good.. no strain due to project work..
xin pei.. someone i just know. dont u tink girls with single eye lid are just so cool?
.
ah bert!!pop by..
piggy xian!!!
sun bear..
chirstina.. groovy's friend...nice girl..
so much pic.. still got a few more .. check the flicker.. tedious to load at here..
okieokie.. time to rest.. tml got work to do..
plus heman B day.. hee
tml whack the bar!!! i miss u already...
with love
10:20 PM
how do i love thee?
koop from dautie blog
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of everyday's
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love thee with a passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints, --- I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life! --- and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.
Elizabeth Barrett Browning (1808-1861)
with love
12:07 AM
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
uncertainty lurks
something wrong with the blogspot. i blogged the other day but nothing appear..
amist all the busy project and poster presentation, ppl are planning for grad trip..
wonder if i shd go for one too?.. haven really rested since i enter uni... been like working very sem break... no doubt i learn during every work attachment but then i realise i wish to be like the rest of the undergrad.. slack and nua under the moon..
have fun and do wat ever when i am still young...
so tink really carefully if you wanna take up study award.. be prepare to scarfice le.. nolife... in other words.. perhaps it ill be better just to take up a papa and mama scholar ship...
i had been introduce to another perspective .. reagradless of how i do... graduation will mark the end of my study life.. sad but true..
i will miss the pool where i swam and swam in my younger years in uni
and i will miss the bar most where i spent my lonliness and saddest time there...
i definately miss the gd frineds i met in uni.. only this few. Xm, dede, piggy, winnie, sunbear and koala. i tink there shd be a few more..i tink.
it had been a mentally tiring coourse.. i just glad it is almost over but i will miss it.like wat piggy said.. enter aimlessly and leave endlessly.. i did not "begin with the end in mind."
just not sure wat will happen in the future.. just afraid of uncertainty..
anyway i jsut wanna take abt 1 month off before i resume work.. just play and get wild yeah? i tink this is hte only time to enjoy witout any serious commitment
but problem is where and who?
cant seem to find ppl who are intersted.. either budget or not time.
haiz..
i wish to do this.. go for a dive trip.. see other parts of the world and cycling up genting highlands..and climb some place nice..
any takers?
i had my poster presentaiton today and tml..
do drop by and see moi yeah? afternoon 2-4..dont thinki am too interested in presenting to the industry ppl but more of interacting with ppl. realise i have so little pic of my uni days..
so tml will be taking pic of most ppl iknoe.. hee..
groovy pop by today despite being on i.a..
still got pretty much stuff to do..
i need to step out of my comfort zone.
and brave the unknown..
with love
11:24 PM
Sunday, March 05, 2006
Fool ArounD sunDAy...
wonder when is the last time i played so hard on a weekend?
i went cycling early morning with 12 roadies.....
and went climibng with sunbear. cos sun bear went to eat sushi the other day.
i just felt happy today..
althought i was not the first 3 at the finishing pt
althought i still very weak at climbin..
dunno why..maybe in 2 more months i will grad and return to work
and all this will seem far-fetched..
mornign and evening time of rotting at the bar will seem precious..
so i must enjoy it..
just like living in the last 2months of my life..
somewat like a guy realise he got cancer and will look at stuff he took for granted from a diff persceptive ,
i tink i am not ready to give up all this.. yet i am not giving up on my dream..
i was listening to this song.. this was the song taht was going in my head when i ran my 10 k SOC last time..
长大以后为了理想而努力
渐渐的忽略了父亲母亲和故乡的消息
如今的我生活就像在演戏
说着言不由衷的话戴着伪善的面具
总是拿着微不足道的成就来骗自己
总是莫名其妙到一阵的空虚
总是靠一点酒精的麻醉才能够睡去
寻寻觅觅寻不到活着的证据
都市的柏油路太硬踩不出足迹
骄傲无知的现代人不知道珍惜
那一片被文明糟踏过的海洋和天地
只有远离人群才能找回我自己
在带着咸味的空气中自由的呼吸
耳畔又传来汽笛声和水手的笑语
永远在内心的最深处听见水手说
他说风雨中这点痛算什么
擦干泪不要怕至少我们还有梦
他说风雨中这点痛算什么
擦干泪不要问为什么
meaningful?
toks abt us working veyr hard for our dreams neglecting our parents and home
we wearing a fake mask..like the great pretender..
alwasy self decept ourself with our punnie acheivement..
alway feeling empty and lonely at times.
cant find the reason to live and take tihngs for granted
the earth are damage by us..
but yet asmist all this, we must find ourself.. wipe away the tear cos this pain is nothing..
that is rite.. pain is nothing.. i will live stronger...
with love
9:20 PM
Friday, March 03, 2006
introducing Ah Kor..
i went to print my poster at peace centre..
i was the last person to print.. din knoe they close so early..
20 bucks for an A1 size poster..
first time printing..
i couldnt explain the relief when teh poster came out inch by inch from the printer..
it represent the long hours and lonely times i spent at the lab.. the times i spent staring at the journels and getting lost most of the time. staying over at lab for a few weekends ... going home at 2-3am.. i am so glad the whole thingy will be over soon.. just like my 4 years of sch.. love hate relation.. (^^,)
print nice nice and keep as souvneir. i got back my report and reading it make moi disgusted cos i tink it is so badly written.. yucks..
since i was at town i meet up with ah jie and felicia for dinner.. feli is ah bert sister...quite and frinedly one.. caring sister also.. bought ah bert dinner adn treat moi ice cream.. Ex manz.. indigestion..
anyway ah bert came and fetch us.. and we pop by his house for a short visit..
TA..TA
Ah kor... the legendary duckie.!! it is call ah kor cos it is the eldest soft toy.. hee...cute manz...
i din sleep when i reach home.. work on design till 4 am..
then wake up at 7 to go sch to pull.... jsut wanted to destress a bit.. Free one.muahaha
anyway got streams of ppl going to career fair..i prob be like them.. lost upon graduation..
someone approiach moi today asking to recruit moi for some modeling thingy.. had a few of those.. may be it is not bad to take part time modelling.. be like zoolander.. airhead one.. jsut like moi.. worth considering..
really hope those grad will find the job they like so 4 years of studying wont be seen like a false promise..
wanted to go climbing but sunbear go eat sushi.. no climb buddy.. haiz..
rot and home on a weekend.yucks!!
tml going for volunteer work .. maybe on of the last chance liao le..
cant wait for sunday ride... new tires. excited
with love
10:22 PM
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
new tires!!!
my bike is road worthy agian...
i am poorer by a 100 bucks.... no more gifts buying, no more treats, nor outing.. that shd save moi some $$...
cant wait till sunday to try the new tires!! hee
anyway, ling(the indian chinese mix) called just now and ask if i wanna be featured in the sunday times the good bod session. unfortunately i turn her down.. paiseh lar... too fat liao le.. at least give moi a few week notice mah.. all the mugging and project din help..
like wat slut say.. got SPARE tire liao lor.!! merherher..
sorri lar ling, maybe next time okie? hee..
thought of koala, she prob the only person i know that was featured before.. but i din see it.. but she definately have a good physique.. koala rawks.!!..
back to design project
with love
11:08 PM
.
do drop by and see moi yeah? afternoon 2-4..dont thinki am too interested in presenting to the industry ppl but more of interacting with ppl. realise i have so little pic of my uni days.. 
