Monday, November 21, 2005
i just wanna break down and cry..
really.
i cant take it any more...
it is not the papers ...
it is not the diffculty of the papers..
it is jsut moi..... really.. no amt of hard work can save moi fro this situation..
i so hated myself.
the mod is so easy.. yet i can miss out the pts i memorise.. i dunno wat is FReaking wrong with moi....WATs my FREAking Problem....!!
wHY?
i really not cut to be a undergrad...
i didnt wanna be one in hte first place..if getting a toopid degree means having to be sad and disappionted. i really could give up everything...
i dont wanna have any tihng to do with NUS... it is just not a place for moi...
i am so ashamed of my lousiness.. i knoe i am not some smarty pants..why do i wnana try to be like them?.. huh? i dont even admire ppl with smart brians.... in fact i despise them .. yet here i am trying to be one of them..
how freaking ironic..
i erally sucks at every single thing i do.... teh only thing i am good at is self deception...i lie to mylsef time and time again.. getting trap in a delusional world that my hard work can change something..dont fight the fact... the truth hurts.. accept it..
i am jsut a toopid person.. who cant do well at anything... time and time this has always been true... jsut tat i refuse to believe in it...
really... i am veyr tired over the whole ordeal...
i dont wnan fancy gifts this xmas.. i dont wanna expensive pressie.. i dont even wanna date with eyecandy...
i just wanna be happy...
for once in my miserable uni life..
with love
8:46 PM
