Monday, January 16, 2006
the little CAb RIde issue
sorri ppl. for hte lack of updated.. moi just came back from ACS CAMP at malaysia.. 4 days and night of fun filled laughter not to mention some sad times.
it is really nice to stay away.. no SMSes.. no telly.. no sch .. no nothing.. just live off the land for a few days..
known and inspire the 28 ACS guys of class 4.17 . The camp made moi rem how i had my leadship Training camp too.. i was more brilliant and capable then.. heehee....
anyway i was really kinda sad when we, the instructors, came back to singapore.
They were discussing who to share cab home with...
there were 5 of us..
B and BS were siblings staying at bukit panjang
H was staying chua chu kang
X resid yew tee
the last one was moi..
apparently the 4 of them made arrangement to share cab.. 4 per cab..
the B guy refused to accommdate moi into the cab ride home.
since i was the extra one.. i had to take a cab alone..
wouldnt it be more logical to divide in 3:2.. rather than 4:1????the 3 belong to yew tee and teck whye and cck.. while the 2 go bukit panjang..( if u ppl are familar with the route u will agree witht the 3:2 arrangeement)
all the times those instructors told the ACS trainees to work together and think of a most feasbile benenfical way to solve problems, surely their decison was not the most right one..
anyway i know when i am not needed.. many ppl brush moi aside before. so i would be jsut this little bit more immune to it..it is just a sucky feeling to be left out..
since all of them din have lunch so everybody went for lunch. in the hope for some "cohension". which in my view is a bunch of bull. for u cant even make a simple cahnge for moi..
anyway when we were all taking the same bus for lunch, H ,X togher with another guy, A alighted and prob took cab home. cos they were all heading the same driection home..tat driection also points to my home lor.. would it relly hurt if u all could just ask moi if i wanna to share a cab??
how insensitive could u all be?
First, B deny moi from sharing cab with u all claiming that it is pre arrange and the cab had reach its full capacity of 4.
second, the 4 decided not to share cab without telling moi and added the A guy.
yes. althought we only knoeweach other for just a few F days, but surely i dont desere to be treated this way..
the B guy had the cheek to ask moi wat bus i taking home after lunch... he shd be glad that i din punch his FACE on the spot..
I knoe i am a proud guy.. as always. i told the B guy, i am full despite being hungry, and headed home alone... and din have lunch with the whole grp
i dunno why i was affected by this small ordeal.. is it becos i would like to get closer to H or issit becos i felt leave out.. lonely yet again... maybe it is just both.. i dont knoe...
i walked home from the mrt. din take the cab.. figured that i could use the fake feeling of feeling belonged mingling with the crowd inside the mrt.
only joanie sense my unhappiness. for that i am thankful..
as i was walking home alone i thought abt this.
For the times, u all have been slacking and chit cahtting in the long house. i was the one that ensure everything was going smmoothly.
for the time when u all are still snoring in the early morining . i was the first one to wake up and ensure the kids were up..
for the time when u all are playing cards and telling ghost story, i was the one going tent to tent to check on the kids every nite.
for the time u all were eating breakfast happily, i am the one inspecting the toliets and teaching the kids how to wash toliet bowl with their bare hands..
for the time when u all are taking pic with each other for memory, i am left out... why?
cos i am the one cleaning the room u all are staying...
i am not complaining.. relly i am not..now am i accused of beening unfrendly and anti?
it is just like the person who is looking after his frineds belonging on the beach, while his freinds plays in the water, cant u all sense how much this person also wnana go play in the water, but he is bounded by respinsibity to in take care of his frineds bags in case they got lost.
human are all born selfish... unless u love.
as a camper. i believe in returning the place as clean as the time u use it.. or at least even better.
i have pride in all i do... altought results may not be rewarding.. but i work hard..i have the rock lee spirit inside moi
i give in my 100 percent and then some..
althought the pay is pathetic, but i still give in my all.. cos i believe that man can live without money but he cannot live without honour and intergity..
just like sch work , i work hard but still crappy grrades.
perhaps life is never fair.
the least is that i can touch my heart and say that i have give in my best.. each and everytime.... as always.
with love
1:59 AM
